Thinking About ADHD
February 10th, 2024- Written by Dane Osborne
ADHD is Better known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity disorder.
It is a way of being human that is characterized by an intense focus and drive for things the individual finds attractive. While also having difficulty enjoying routine or monotonous tasks. It is important to note that High levels of anxiety or depression can create the same patterns as ADHD so every effort should be made to differentiate between the two.
The three types of ADHD
ADHD- Hyperactive Type This type is more of the stereotypical view of an individual with ADHD they can appear very impulsive Sometimes they can speak and move quickly and others feel like they may be rushing but that is just their natural speed.
ADHD Combined type- the most ambitious type of ADHD because they present with both types of ADHD. Not Hyperactive enough to be considered “hyper”. And not inattentive enough to be considered “spacey”. These individuals are the most likely to not recognize or align with an ADHD diagnosis
ADHD inattentive type - The dreamers and visionary. They are the least detectable type of ADHD and may present as very slow due to dealing with the hyperactivity of their mind internally. They are usually great observers and may love people-watching
ADHD can be masked more easily by girls. Some theories for this include the fact that girls’ frontal lobes of the brain develop and mature faster than boys. ( the frontal lobe is where decision-making and impulse control take effect. ) Another theory is that girls more commonly have the combined or inattentive type of ADHD. (There is pushback here given that this view may be skewed due to gender bias. ) Another theory is that society just attributes girl’s hyperactivity to other things such as periods or hormonal changes (stress etc. again skewed by gender bias ).
Two Helpful ways to think about ADHD
A pet named ADHD
Often in any relationship, it is easy to get caught in an argument and view the person as the problem. I will always advocate for taking personal responsibility and lessening the amount of hurt involved. It is helpful to view ADHD as another entity with its wants, needs and desires. In counseling, we have the phrase. “ Hands busy frees the mouth”. This is especially true of individuals who align with the ADHD diagnosis. People report having better interactions and conversations while riding in a car. ( variability in the passing scenery occupies ADHD). Walking around a park or just down their street ( the physical movement and stimulation occupy ADHD) Parents may be quick to interpret a child looking at a toy or seemingly playing with a pen or other object as a lack of listening but in fact, they can be more engaged in a conversation when their body is allowed to move and receive feedback.
ADHD as “the problem”
Another way of keeping ADHD separate from the individual is making sure to label ADHD as “the Problem” This way we consciously choose to separate the individual from the problematic behaviors that are harder to control. This can be particularly helpful when. “ADHD”. Seems out of control. By Identifying ADHD as the problem we allow ourselves to be on the same team as your teen or spouse with ADHD. Being on the same team facing the same challenge fosters community connection and belonging. Working together is always preferable to arguing against each other.
Regardless of how we think about ADHD or other differences the hope is to always be able to find common ground with the person in order to support them in the best way possible. Ultimately leading to healthy and happy relationships.
Dr. Pulianda & Associates in Southlake, Texas is committed to providing compassionate care to adults, teens, couples, and families in the Dallas-Fort Worth Area, as well as all of Texas via online telehealth therapy.
